Third Time... Strike or Charm?

I’m not ignoring my blog, I’ve just been stupid, crazy busy. I have to finish one complete edit of UnAltered by November 4th. The rules of submission, state that the manuscript must be mailed by that magical date and I’m only on 189 of 262 pages.
The good news is that I’ve shaved approximately 4,000 words. The bad news I may have gone a bit heavy on the contractions and once those are fixed….well, you get the gist.

Another exciting news tidbit is the uber YA agent Suzie Townsend has skipped over to the Nancy Coffey Agency and is holding a query contest next Tuesday from 9 am to 10 am, est. Anyone can enter, but wear your rhino skin as she says she’ll be brutally honest. Googling Teflon underwear shops as soon as I'm done here...

Enough excuses. I eliminated a portion of the original query and now have a shorter, more in-yo-face kind of query. Okay, maybe not, but I’m trying to learn how to roll here, be kind.

This is the end product:

Dear Ms. Thang,

According to your website, you are seeking dystopian YA with character driven plots and real emotional power. You may enjoy my novel, UnALTERED.

“Primitive birth, genetically unaltered…mutt.” All names sixteen-year-old Ezra Thibodeaux is grotesquely familiar with. But she only has one goal: be the best Cadet Smith 902 she can be. In other words, assimilate or die. But when the Freedom Fighter’s grandson, Thorne bin Laden sets his targets on her, assimilation becomes the least of her worries.

Raped, pregnant, and selected for survival exercises, she faces the toughest decision of her life. It’s made tougher when fate reunites her with a boy from her past. If she chooses to keep her baby, she must fight her way out of One Globe or die. If she doesn’t, she’ll never have to tell the boy she loves she’s pregnant…with their enemy’s child.

UnALTERED is an 78K word YA dystopian. Per your submission guidelines, I’m including the first ten pages in this email and look forward to sending the remaining manuscript at your request.

Sincerely,
ME

So, any more advice or is everyone sick to vomit of this query? I’m kinda feeling that way…

Still Here

I didn't post yesterday as I figured most of you would have been sucked up into the atmosphere and no one would have been around to read it. But as that didn't happen, here ya go:

For today’s blog post I’m continuing the challenge set forth by the ‘oh, so, soon to be published’ Anita Grace Howard, yes I’m still working on that jealousy issue. With the smoozalistic award came the soul baring farce of put up or shut up.

Always up for the chance to embarrass myself, I’m taking that challenge to the extreme and putting up the first and last sentences of the first five chapters of each of my manuscripts.

In my last blog, I drew a line in the sand with my current WIP, this time I’m going down quick.

These are the, ‘make me sick’ I wrote that crap, first sentences from ALKONOST – A TATTOO AWAKENS, the first novel I finished.

Chapter 1 Branded

“You can get naked in there.”
But no more tears came, they would find her later, this was only the calm before the storm.

Chapter 2 Phelan

The doorbell rang for the tenth time, Sorra squeezed the pillow harder over her ears.
Phelan had a way of making a fender bender sound like a 40 car pileup.

Chapter 3 Skender and Fiona

It was three am, “truck driver’s hour for sleep driving,” Skender thought wryly.
Why hadn’t she inherited her mother’s strength, instead of, only her blue eyes?

Chapter 4 Coward

She could not see me; the mist rolling in from the swamp was too dense, the hour too close to the spike of dawn’s rays.
Mama, help me! Please Daddy I need you!

Chapter 5 And So it Began

A stabbing pain skewered Fiona’s right eye and her vision went blank.
Sorra whispered, “Thank you.”

The idea of the challenge is to see where your novel is going. Do you have a plot? Is it so convoluted that even you can’t figure out where it’s going and you won’t the drivel? Is your MC worthy of having their story told or she/he some whining little snit that should just shut the freak up?

I hadn’t opened this story file in months and after doing so today, I wish I hadn’t.

Oh, I’ll eventually go back to my poor little Sorra possessed by an ancient goddess through a tattoo she got on her 19th birthday in a drunken stupor at college. But judging from the lines I read just skimming through here, it’ll be awhile. And this is after countless revisions; I might confess the original novel was 175K word count. *throws up in hand – daintily lops off with chainsaw*

Ick! Yuck! Ugh! What the heck was I drinking?

Since blogger didn’t take my links on the first post, and for some reason my menopausal mind can't decipher I’m reposting them without the link, at least they show up…
http://tiredbutwriting.blogspot.com Gina White
http://authoraghoward.blogspot.com Anita Grace Howard
http://fromsarahwithjoy.blogspot.com Sarah Allen
http://andthenmyheartsmiled.blogspot.com Charmalot
http://kitcourteney.blogspot.com Kit Courteney
http://dailydramaofanaspiringwriter.blogspot.com Murees Dupre

An Award For Me?

"Oh no, why I couldn’t! Oh, you shouldn’t have. Oh my, aren’t you sweet?"

As hard as it to believe, I’m still in a twitter about it, but I was lavished with the Versatile Blogger Award by none other than the illustrious Anita, her blog is
"A Still and Quiet Madness". Awesome title, right?
She’s quite literary, accomplished, and soon to be published, so it’s okay to hate her a bit, it’ll be our little secret.

And no that isn’t the award, but as I was poking around for the perfect pic, I found this one and while I totally commiserate with the emotion, I would have had enough sense to stuff my bra before I went on stage. Bless her heart, but I’m just saying, can’t she pay someone to point out her flaws? Maybe she’s needs beta dressers.

Here’s the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious award:

And the way the award works, yep there’s rules wouldn’t you know it, is:
1. Thank and link to the person who nominated you.
2. Share seven random facts about yourself or the one I chose…
Post the first and last lines of the first five chapters of one of
your manuscripts.
3. Pass the award along to 5 deserving blogging buddies.
4. Contact those buddies to congratulate them

So, for number one, thank you Ms. Anita and I’m swallowing my jealousy and promise not to feel to much more angst against you.

For number two, I was torn and have decided to do all three of my finished and the my current WIP, but since all that reading would probably make your eyes bleed and I don’t want to be responsible for that, I’ll post them separately. It’s an insightful tool to let you know if you’re on track or not.

My current WIP is a YA Dystopian, UNCLASSIFIED, and it kinda goes like this:

Chapter 1
I am a menstruating female.
One false move and it will be my last.

Chapter 2
There is no doubt phototherapy was good for me.
That star is a bigger insult than anything an Altered to could say or do to me. Traitor!

Chapter 3
The double doors slide silently apart as I approach.
But I can’t block out the truth…I’ll be joining them soon enough.

Chapter 4
My judge, jury and executioner is an Altered.
Maybe her curiosity will get the better of her before it’s too late.

Chapter 5
I sling my backpack over my shoulder and grab the two sterile parcels from the bed next to Bengali and drop them on the bed in the farthest corner of the ward.
Never looking back is my only hope of survival.

The plot is set in the not too far future and after the destruction and reunification of the world into one country post 9-11. My MC, Ezra Thibodeaux, is assimilated into this world, then raped, pregnant, and alone she’s forced to fight for her life. And yada, yada, yada.

For number three, I’ve selected the following deserving blogging buddies:


Gina White
Sarah Allen
Charmalot
Kit Courteney
Murees Dupé

(Just in case, this is the umpthteen time I posted these links, I hope they show up, I can't edit this thing anymore, I promise they are there, just invisible.)

These are all lovely blogs with a humorous side, not bloated or condescending at all. Check them out for a tad of wisdom without the wind.

So now, I’m going to contact them to let them know about the award and get back to writing, this is the longest blog I’ve ever done. Whew! I’m worn out!

Crappy Character Calling Cards

Since I didn’t join the April Blog A to Z Challenge until yesterday, I missed the A & B, but fret none as I will make them up on one of these here weekends. So give me a “C”.

Naming your character is just as important as the title in my opinion. A great title will make you pick up the book and flip it over to see if you want to buy it. But the wrong character name will have me snapping it shut before I get through Chapter 1.

The name speaks to the character’s attributes. For example, Igor…what do you see?

A bug eating freak, humpbacked, lice infested, and stained white lab coat, right? Or some such, but no Igor is actually a 15 year-old, 6’2’’, and solid wall of muscle linebacker. Sure. With a name like Igor he’s gonna need those rock hard abs. While the author may be seeing it as a cutesy statement, the reader is already lost in bug eating conjurings and completely turned off by the character.

Likewise is the overuse of popular names. Brandy for instance… Brunette, curvy, hazel eyes, ex-cheerleader type and go ahead, think it...slut.

While a secondary character may be fine named after the alcohol she was conceived on, do you really want that for your main character? If that’s her personality be bold, but not many readers are going to find it plausible for Brandy to save the world, unless it’s erotica.

Sexually ambiguous names can be just as annoying for your reader.
Okay, maybe not, but they annoy the “C”rap out of me.

Tangled in My Own Web

I made this amazing schedule to get my writing career going in a forward direction instead floundering in the quagmire. Well that sucked! Even without the laptop keyboard glitch, I haven’t succeeded at following it one single day. These are the reasons why:

1. Querying a mere three agents, not the ten I so loftily amused myself with, per day takes me upwards of four hours. I troll QueryTracker.net selected picks for me and then research the agent. Hoping my letter will not look completely random, I Google said agent and read at least one of their interviews and quote some little ditty they’ve espoused.

2. I hadn’t scheduled time for bathing or Chardonnay, but I’m proud to report those items have not missed a day. I cocooned my laptop in Saran Wrap and have been practicing with washing and guzzling while typing. Not vastly successful yet, but I have high hopes. Sadly for the monumental span of my derriere, exercise has been moved down on a notch on my ‘to do’ list.

3. I swore that I would write on one of the two WIP’s and rotate them regularly, but that has been revised to writing like mad on one and ignoring the shouting voice of my MC in the other.

4. I committed to editing my badly needed rewrite on my NaNoWriMo. Wisely, I moved it to the end of my document’s list so I need not feel any guilt by accidentally scrolling past that sad file.

5. No more time suckage allowed by FaceBook or Twitter? No comment.

6. And as for that blogging, reading blogs, and commenting on such… I’m working on it.

So for those of you who have this whole shebang under control, how do you do it? And how do you deal with the guilt when you flop miserably?


On a completely sane level, would anyone like to post their query letter and let random strangers poke fun, er, I mean critique it?
Leave me a comment if you want to be my guinnea pig.

First Day a New Way

Thanks to my innate laziness I'm the world's worst blogger. Besides the fact that I find writing about writing incredibly sad, especially as to date I'm unpublished. Sure, I could go the indie way lots of today's millionaire writers have done that very thing. I've even read a few of those books, but I haven't found one yet that made me stay up all night reading it. They read like early drafts, the potential of something great is there, the yeasty scent is enticing but the bread is only parbaked.

So, I shan't give up my quest, I shall lumber on.

This new blog will be my rant at the futility of my search to obtain that goal. It will be filled with angst and guest bloggers and contests. Why? Because I've been assured by the “oh so wise”, Office Girl, see her blog under blogs I follow, that this is the key to wild success. And she knows all. She is wise beyond her tender years.

What I won't do is curse the heads of those sage and venerable creatures, otherwise known as agents, even when they turn down the unbelievable opportunity to represent my work. I will sadly keep a public count of my humiliation here for your pleasure.

Why? Dare you say I should wail at the beasts that could so obtusely refuse such a gold plated sweet deal? I should spit in their eye? After all they must be blind; they couldn't see the spit coming.

Well I won't and I'll tell you why. Because one day, one of those higher beings is going to pick up my query letter, laugh their asses off, and request a full. And it goes without saying that the wise one will love it! Find me a publisher with a flick of his/her cellphone and rocket us both to instant success. So there!