For today’s blog post I’m continuing the challenge set forth by the ‘oh, so, soon to be published’ Anita Grace Howard, yes I’m still working on that jealousy issue. With the smoozalistic award came the soul baring farce of put up or shut up.
Always up for the chance to embarrass myself, I’m taking that challenge to the extreme and putting up the first and last sentences of the first five chapters of each of my manuscripts.
In my last blog, I drew a line in the sand with my current WIP, this time I’m going down quick.
These are the, ‘make me sick’ I wrote that crap, first sentences from ALKONOST – A TATTOO AWAKENS, the first novel I finished.
Chapter 1 Branded
“You can get naked in there.”
But no more tears came, they would find her later, this was only the calm before the storm.
Chapter 2 Phelan
The doorbell rang for the tenth time, Sorra squeezed the pillow harder over her ears.
Phelan had a way of making a fender bender sound like a 40 car pileup.
Chapter 3 Skender and Fiona
It was three am, “truck driver’s hour for sleep driving,” Skender thought wryly.
Why hadn’t she inherited her mother’s strength, instead of, only her blue eyes?
Chapter 4 Coward
She could not see me; the mist rolling in from the swamp was too dense, the hour too close to the spike of dawn’s rays.
Mama, help me! Please Daddy I need you!
Chapter 5 And So it Began
A stabbing pain skewered Fiona’s right eye and her vision went blank.
Sorra whispered, “Thank you.”
The idea of the challenge is to see where your novel is going. Do you have a plot? Is it so convoluted that even you can’t figure out where it’s going and you won’t the drivel? Is your MC worthy of having their story told or she/he some whining little snit that should just shut the freak up?
I hadn’t opened this story file in months and after doing so today, I wish I hadn’t.
Oh, I’ll eventually go back to my poor little Sorra possessed by an ancient goddess through a tattoo she got on her 19th birthday in a drunken stupor at college. But judging from the lines I read just skimming through here, it’ll be awhile. And this is after countless revisions; I might confess the original novel was 175K word count. *throws up in hand – daintily lops off with chainsaw*
Ick! Yuck! Ugh! What the heck was I drinking?
Since blogger didn’t take my links on the first post, and for some reason my menopausal mind can't decipher I’m reposting them without the link, at least they show up…
http://tiredbutwriting.blogspot.com Gina White
http://authoraghoward.blogspot.com Anita Grace Howard
http://fromsarahwithjoy.blogspot.com Sarah Allen
http://andthenmyheartsmiled.blogspot.com Charmalot
http://kitcourteney.blogspot.com Kit Courteney
http://dailydramaofanaspiringwriter.blogspot.com Murees Dupre
I must say that I had no idea from reading those sentences that the story was about a teenager possessed by a Goddess. That alone makes me understand why you're saying that this needs work. Still the idea itself is interesting. Hopefully you will finish it someday.
ReplyDeleteI love the first line/last line thing ... in fact, I'm going to try it as soon as I have time. I'm definitely interested in your WIP based on what you've posted ;)
ReplyDeleteLove the WIP you are awesome you need to finish but based on what you have posted I would love to read. Wanton Redhead Writing is a great blog read it every time you post!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know what? I think it's awesome that you're willing to post! I'm so super shy about posting anything from my WIP, so I'm awed by anyone who will share :) And I can tell there's some good stuff here--best of luck with your revisions (or chainsawing, depending).
ReplyDeleteThat first part of chapter one hit me hard. What a freaking great opener!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post-- very brave. I'll have to look at my first and last sentences now.
ReplyDeleteLea, I've sent you an award, come by and pick it up.
What an interesting story idea! I'm in the midst of revising right now, but once it's fit for human consumption I'll check out my first and last sentences.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog. I enjoyed your post and I think while you may believe your plot needs work, your writing is intriguing enough to make me very interested in your book. Good luck with revisions. I'm deep into mine. :)
ReplyDeleteHey, its me! I see my name up there...am I supposed to do something?? Miss ya.
ReplyDelete