Saturday, October 15, 2011

UnAltered Query Mess Numero Dos

I asked for a critique or ten of my query letter that I’m submitting for the Big Sur Writer’s Workshop and while I didn’t get ten, I did get a couple. Thank you so much Nancy and Gail for your time and assistance.

But instead of that warm, fuzzy ‘problem solved’ feeling, I now feel utterly addled. As a result, I’m going to break it down bit by bit over my next couple of blogs.




As you know by now, I deplore the longwinded; I’ll attempt to be brief.

The beginning of my query, as was posted:

Your website states that you are currently seeking YA, “…character-driven AND page-turning contemporary fiction with real emotional power; dystopian…”

My intention was to prove that I had gone to her website and researched what she is specifically seeking, without repeating her tweets and outing myself as a fangirl.

But one critiquer thinks this is grand faux pas numero uno.

That commenter, a fellow writer with extensive querying experience, stated:

“Unless an agent specifically asks for an introduction, always jump right into the meat of the query. Besides, the agent already knows which genres she reps so you don't have to remind her.”

The other commenter, one-time journalist, poet, children’s writer, etc., had a different idea:

“…SOME WANT TO KNOW STUFF LIKE WHY YOU ARE QUERYING THEM IN PARTIC, HOW YOUR BOOK FITS INTO THEIR LIST, ETC, I HEAR THIS OVER AND OVER IN AGENT PANELS AND INTERVIEWS. WHICH IS WHAT RESEARCH IS FOR. DEFINITELY DO HOMEWORK ABOUT EACH AGENT…

As I’m no expert I went to the expert’s corner…

In my world that’s Chuck Sambuchino’s blog, A Guide to the Literary Agent. All the following quotes are from his immeasurably helpful blog. (Maybe I have a small crush…)

These are a few of those wants and don’t wants in queries:

Molly Glick of Foundry Literary & Media told Chuck: “…No. 3-Proof that you have researched and hand-picked an agent…” (Maybe I will repeat her tweets…)

Janet Reid, the infamous Query Shark, says it a little differently: “…Section Three: 1. Why you chose this agent…” Essentially, keep the intro but put it at the bottom.

She also demands a query letter not surpass 250 words. I’m good there, mine currently is 203.

And I could go on and on, but your eyes are already bleeding and you’ve just scrolled down three-fourths of the page.




This is my current intro:

According to your website, you are currently seeking dystopian YA with character driven plots and real emotional power. You may enjoy my novel, UnALTERED.

So you tell me, do I scrap it or keep it or rework one more time?

14 comments:

  1. I don't think it's a bad idea to mention that you've done your homework. I start my query with "I read on your website that you represent (or are currently seeking) said genre. I am seeking agency representation for my (word count, genre, title)."

    Of course you want your hook next, but I don't think it's bad to start with the reason you're querying them first.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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  2. Interesting blog and thx for the follo - I have to say you are the first person I have ever heard of who was born into a religious cult in Bowling Green, SC - well quite possibly the only person I have heard of from this place.

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  3. Yeah it is good to say what you are going for first I guess, at least that's what it seems to be with most anything. I guess obvious is part of the norm. Nice blog followed back, even though you SOG!..haha

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  4. I'd have to ditto what Stacy said. (She said it better than the mush in my head.)

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  5. I've heard both too--some agents want eat dinner right away, and others want to meet the hostess first, ya know?

    I'd say personalize if you can, but don't drive yourself nuts over it. In the end, it's the novel itself that will decide if they'll request pages or not. Make sure the pitch part is perfectly polished. (The alliteration was totally unintentional. I swear.)

    Good luck!

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  6. That's a hard decision. I read one agent's snarky comments about not telling her what she already knows about herself. I think that if you can reword it a different way or put it at the end of the query like mentioned above, maybe that would work. But the main thing is to get it out there and not stress too much over your first few sentences. Good luck! I love your photos! Funny!

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  7. come pick up your award on my blog, redhead. : )

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  8. I think it's just fine, Lea. It seems that unless you write something REALLY objectionable, an agent will be okay with whatever you decide. And if something like a short intro sets them off, then maybe they won't be too great to work with anyway.

    Great topic, though. I am also meeting with an agent at a conference in the next little bit. Looking forward to reading more.

    BTW, I sent an award your way. Come by and pick it up when you can.

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  9. Traditionally the successes I've heard about or experienced with specifics work at a higher level than what's on their site. If you know books the agent has represented, comparing yourself to them marketing-wise is very smart. But simply quoting their guidelines could be a hit with one agent and a miss with another.

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  10. @Stacy Why did you have to remind me I need a hook? Can't you see I'm drowning here.

    @David It wasn't half as fun as it sounds.

    @ Pat I'm soggy that way.

    @ Kit My head is mushy too.

    @ Lydia So I should start with dessert?

    @ LynNerd You've convinced it stays, where still not sure.

    @ Gail Thank you a gazillion, working on that now. Did I say, "Thank you?"

    @Perri Coming to your neck of the blogs.

    @ John That's way to darn smart. Now, I've got to start over.

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  11. I would have to agree with John. It's a matter of each agent/editor's personal preference.

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  12. Excellent post! You've done your homework. You're fully prepared, and that puts you ahead of the game ^_^

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  13. Hey Lea. I have an award for you so please stop by my blog to pick it up.

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  14. Minor point - "You are currently seeking" is redundant. "Are" is present tense. "Currently" means right now, present. How is it different than "You are seeking" except for being one-word longer? Cut out all the excess and it leaves you more room for showing how great your book is.

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