I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T & Other Things That Go Blahhhg

The April Blog A to Z Challenge was rolling along nicely…

Okay so on the 10th of April I posted my “H” blog and was almost caught up in the blog challenge and feeling rather spiffy about myself. And then disaster struck! A common malady in my world, I think I must have been a troll or goblin in a former life and Karma is paying me back in this one. My laptop contracted a latent zombie virus and began to eat itself.

I replaced the laptop on Thursday and have been playing catch-up ever since. I was an uber idiot as I had not bothered to save my WIPs on a flash drive and had only backed up my laptop to my laptop. I did have my completed novels on flash but not the latest edits. SO yeah, I suck!

As my head is perpetually in the clouds, the silver lining is sticking to my eyelashes and I'm to be assured my old laptop will be returned in a week or so, sans virus. I’ve already chunked out the cash for this miracle, so I’m hoping being the Easter season I'll have a little luck at that resurection thing.

In the meantime, I’ve been answering the two weeks worth of missed emails which included……big drum roll here…2 partial requests on one of those edited but not the latest edited completed works.

I…is for Idiot, me. As I will now fastidiously copy everything on flash and backup online.
J…is for jumbo, as in my jumbo mistake at not saving my files adequately.
K…is for kicking, myself in the butt.
L…is for libation, poured myself several after the fiasco.
M…is for murder, the act I wish to commit on the sicko who invented the virus.
N…is for Norton, worthless antivirus company that assures me they protected me from other viruses.
O…is for obsessive, my new devotion to backing up files.
P…is for peeps, those nasty little marshmallow things stuffed in Easter baskets (just seems appropriate).
Q…is for query, only the favorable ones shall be remembered.
R…is for raving, ranting, and railing, still ongoing but trying to shut up.
S…is for snorting, something I did for hours as my laptop died.
T…is for tomorrow, for tomorrow never comes.

Okay so tomorrow I’ll post the ubiquitous “U” and be back on track. Anyone feeling the need to point out that this is flagrant cheating, please keep it to yourself, I’m already wallowing in guilt.

Schedule Wisely or Get a Job

The above are the sage and heartless words of my dearest..

Several of the NYT Best Selling Authors churn out multiple novels in a year, which in itself with the required hours of editing and rewriting is monumental. Add in Twitter, FaceBook, a myriad of other social networking sites and a blog and the task seems unattainable. How do they do it? Where do they find the time?

I’ve spent 3 years beating my head against the wall, not literally (I hate pain), and I feel no closer to being published than the day I scaled down my real estate brokerage in order to do this. I’ve come to an impasse. (My husband is losing patience with my lowered income, but I’m fine with not working 80 hours a week.) It’s time to get serious, to get organized, or admit defeat and go back to work fulltime.

I have three finished novels and two under way. I write, I edit, I rewrite, I edit, but I really suck at querying. I have queries for each of the aforementioned novels but sending them out? Ewww! I’m breaking out in hives just thinking about it. I do the research, I find my dream agents, but… just...ewww.

Enough! I will, starting today.

Since I have three completed novels, I will work on one book at a time rotating them weekly. The new and improved (first ever) schedule I came up with went like this: 10 query letters per day-three hours, two hours of editing, two hours of blog reading/writing, two hours of FB/Twitter (time suckage no longer allowed), and four hours on the WIPs. A full thirteen hours of devotion.

Extremely proud of my spurt of industriousness, I boasted of my eminent success to my other. He rolled his eyes and sagely noted that I hadn’t scheduled time for him, bathing, eating, exercise, or (OMG how could I have forgotten?) chardonnay.

Okay so something has to go, and it won’t be my wine. Do I really need to query?

First Day a New Way

Thanks to my innate laziness I'm the world's worst blogger. Besides the fact that I find writing about writing incredibly sad, especially as to date I'm unpublished. Sure, I could go the indie way lots of today's millionaire writers have done that very thing. I've even read a few of those books, but I haven't found one yet that made me stay up all night reading it. They read like early drafts, the potential of something great is there, the yeasty scent is enticing but the bread is only parbaked.

So, I shan't give up my quest, I shall lumber on.

This new blog will be my rant at the futility of my search to obtain that goal. It will be filled with angst and guest bloggers and contests. Why? Because I've been assured by the “oh so wise”, Office Girl, see her blog under blogs I follow, that this is the key to wild success. And she knows all. She is wise beyond her tender years.

What I won't do is curse the heads of those sage and venerable creatures, otherwise known as agents, even when they turn down the unbelievable opportunity to represent my work. I will sadly keep a public count of my humiliation here for your pleasure.

Why? Dare you say I should wail at the beasts that could so obtusely refuse such a gold plated sweet deal? I should spit in their eye? After all they must be blind; they couldn't see the spit coming.

Well I won't and I'll tell you why. Because one day, one of those higher beings is going to pick up my query letter, laugh their asses off, and request a full. And it goes without saying that the wise one will love it! Find me a publisher with a flick of his/her cellphone and rocket us both to instant success. So there!