Saturday, December 25, 2010

A Very Muslim Christmas

First I'd like to say that either Homeland Security started reading my whiny blog and took me off the 'most likely to be a terrorist list' or Kris Kringle sent me a little seasonal help. I was only patted down ONCE and it wasn't even in the US. An impressive female Hitler impersonator gave me a smashing (not said lightly) invasive fondling in Frankfurt, Germany, and I might have liked it. But other than that it was a poking, prodding, puffing, and sadly body scanner free flight, all four, so far.

But now after a short sojourn in Zurich, Switzerland (lovely place for Christmas), I am experiencing the polar opposite in Kosovo. Whenever this side of my family (way too often) enjoys one of their Muslim holidays (Insert opportunity to give their kids money and eat foul suspectly prepared food), I always wish them a "Happy" whatever the heck it is.

But today, even with my more than once reminder that today was Christmas, not one "Merry Christmas" did I receive. I did receive however lost and pillaged luggage courtesy of the Pristina Muslim Airport Police. In all fairness, (And I am so about that) they did call and are now ready to turn over my shocked underwear. I suppose I shouldn't blame them, they were only doing their job. Perhaps, I should explain....

Two days before our flight learned that we were not only expected to take an aforementioned bag of demanded goodies, (which ended up costing us $50 after all) but were now expected to act as a document delivery service as well. Apparently they couldn't use DHL or FedEx as that would be too Christian or something. I refused to let my hubby hand carry said documents, as was the demand, in fear that we would be arrested or something. I mean surely Homeland Security has some sort of a law on carrying someone's guaranty to move to the US, or maybe not...either way I didn't want to take that chance. (Getting deported once in my life was enough to teach this old dog a lesson.)

But I blabber, the airport police not only ripped off that bag, but water-boarded our other checked luggage for answers. Yes, it was soaking wet, everything in it.

So to get back to the point, I'm pissed that no one, except my sweet FB friends and my husband, (although he has done so whispering) has wished me a Merry Christmas. I didn't expect any spiked eggnog or edible food, but a 'good tidings' would have been nice.

So now, I plan to drown my sorrows in this fine bottle of Finlandia Vodka courtesy of Duty Free shopping, sans nog (gratefully honestly) and wish you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

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